Jan 26, 201811 min read

How Using Reflection Can Change Your Life In 3 Simple Steps.

Updated: Feb 6, 2023

I am so excited to talk about this subject with you all! It is a subject that can be very hard for some of us, but also can be life changing! I know because it truly changed mine! So, today I want to share with you how reflection can change your life in 3 simple steps.

If you follow my blog, you will you know that last week we talked about that first step that you MUST take in order to change your life, right? If you missed it, you can get caught up here. The Key to Changing Your Life Is To Become Aware Of Your Thoughts.

By the title name, you already know that to be able to change your life, you have to be able to change your thoughts. I know it sounds strange but it is true! If you really think about it, you can’t live a super happy, prosperous life when you are always thinking negative thoughts. Right? Those two things are so contradictory to one another!

In order to live the life that we REALLY want we have, we have to change our thoughts! This may sound easy, however, it takes effort and a lot of time, but the reward is literally life changing!

My purpose is to help those of you who want to change your life, by giving you simple steps to help change your thoughts. Over the last 14 years I have read hundreds of books, bought every personal development program out there, studied life coaching, etc. Not only, was I fascinated by the topic, I was desperate for a change in my personal life!

I want to state here that my husband, children, family, and friends are GREAT, but we all have to grow within and I needed help with my personal journey! I think we all do somewhere along the path! So these are some things that I have found to help!

So….here we go….to the second step!

Last week we talked about several ways to get in tune with your thoughts, so if you have not already seen this, make sure to read up on them in the post link above. It is important to read through that before you go one to our next step, which is taking time to do some reflection on your life.

First of all, you may be wondering what does reflection mean? The dictionary defines it as:

1. serious thought or consideration.

“he doesn’t get much time for reflection”

synonyms:thought, thinking, consideration, contemplation, deliberation, pondering, meditation, musing, rumination;

formalcogitation

“after some reflection, he turned it down”

Reflection is an important tool we all use in our daily lives. We reflect on our relationships, important decisions that we are making, our past, all kinds of things!

You may be asking why reflection is the next step in changing your life? Well, that is a really good question that I hope to answer below.

Here are three very big reasons why reflection is so important when it comes to changing your life:

1: In order to change your future, you must reflect on your past.

This is a must! I want to warn you though, it can be difficult too! I know for me it was and still is challenging!!!!

You need to be able to see what you liked or disliked about your past in order to change it. Does that make sense? If you are looking to live out your dreams and change your life to the life that your REALLY want, you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you have already made. Right?

This was tough. It was hard for me to reflect on my past at certain times because I was learning how powerful our thoughts are and how they dictate where our lives go, and I realized that I was the root of most of the problems. At this point, I couldn’t play the victim role anymore, I couldn’t blame how things turned out on anyone other than myself.

That was HARD! There is no such thing as “bad luck” or “good luck”. We are the creators of our luck…Bad luck is a direct reflection of where your thoughts have been, it is the same rule with good luck.

My brother, whom I adore, was always seen as the, “Golden Child,” in my eye because everything he touched turned to gold. I would always compare his luck to mine and would always think that I had a black cloud following me around.

Now that I know what I know, I see where I was wrong….he just had the right thoughts, confidence, and took action to get what he wanted. I on the other hand, would wish for things, hope they would magically fall into my lap, and of course when they didn’t (because I didn’t take action), would go into the, “woe is me” situation.

Easy to see now…but not then.

Now I always remember, “Thoughts are things!” If you truly follow this rule, you will automatically become more aware of your thoughts and be able to change them before you do any harm. I know that may sound extreme but after 11 years of studying, implementing, and experimenting on this subject I know this to be TRUE!

We are going to do an exercise to get our minds thinking in the right direction. So get relaxed, comfortable, in a quiet spot, other than this screen, turn off all other technology if you can, and let’s get started!

I want you to take a moment right now to do a quick reflection.

First: I want you to think about your past. Think about a time in your life that you felt great. A time when everything in your life was going so well.

How did that feel?
What did that look like for you?
Who was in your life?
What made you felt great? Your health, relationships, finances, career?
What was your vocabulary like? “I can do this” or “I can have that.”
Where were you living?
What were your hobbies?
Where you traveling?

Once you visualize that time in your life, really soak it in. Let those memories become so real that you feel them, you feel as though you were right back in that time. Living the life that was good! Right?

As you are thinking of that time, I want you to think of where your thoughts were during this time period.

Were your thoughts generally more positive than negative?
Were you excited about life?
Did you have a lot of energy?
Were you grateful for everything that you had in your life?
Were you optimistic about your future?
Did you have dreams for your life?
Did you have any worries?

Answers those questions honestly. As you are doing so, what were your thoughts at that time? Keep that in mind as we continue…remember how you feel right now as we talk about this period of your life. Now we are going to shift into another time frame.

Second: Think about a time in your life that nothing seemed to be going right for you.

Again…..let yourself go there. It doesn’t feel as good as you start your reflections on this time of your life, does it? Maybe you already feel a difference within you, an uncertainty, or sense of negativity. We won’t be in this exercise long, so let your thoughts go there….

What did this time frame look like to you?
Who was in your life?
How was your career?
Where did you live?
How were your finances?
What did you do during this time?
Did you have hobbies or travel?

Now we will shift again to your thoughts.

How did you feel at this time?
Were you uncertain of the future?
Afraid?
What was your energy level like?
What did you concentrate on?
What were your thoughts primarily? Positive or negative?
Were you generally excited about life, or just getting through life?
Did you see yourself as a victim in life? Or maybe felt you were the recipient of bad luck?

Again answer those questions honestly.

Ok….so now pull yourself out of those thoughts! I don’t want you to stay there too long, because I don’t want you to adapt to that way of thinking! That’s for sure!

If you really put yourself back in those times frames of your life, you probably started feeling those same emotions that you had back then. When I do these exercises, I can feel it through my entire body! This again, is very good example to always focus on where your thoughts…always think of the positive…it affects not only your mind but your physical health!

Third: Now, I want you to the exact same exercise…take yourself through a time in your life when you were just living. Nothing in your life was necessarily good or bad…it was just life.

Ask yourself the exact questions as listed below.

What did this time frame look like to you?
Who was in your life?
How was your career?
Where did you live?
How were your finances?
What did you do during this time?
Did you have hobbies or travel?

Again..

How did you feel at this time?
Were you uncertain of the future?
Afraid?
What was your energy level like?
What did you concentrate on?
What were your thoughts primarily? Positive or negative?
Were you generally excited about life, or just getting through life?
Did you see yourself as a victim in life? Or maybe felt you were the recipient of bad luck?

Now it is time to step back and take a look at our answers, you’ll be surprised at what you find! How did you feel about that time of your life? Where you driven to succeed, or did you just want to survive?

Thank you for taking the time to reflect on those times of your life! It is important in moving forward to the next step!

Step 2: Recognize the patterns in your life!

This is always a fun step! When I was reading and researching this topic over the last 11 years, I became so into this step. While digging deep into my past, I realized over the course of my life that I was the one that controlled where I was at each point.

Obviously, we know that to some degree, however, a lot of times we seem to blame others for where we are in our lives. Do you agree?

I know for myself, when things were not going well in my life, it was because of where my thoughts were at that point of time. I was obviously not thinking positively, focusing on only what was going wrong instead of what was going good in my life. I played the, “Woe is me” part, which kept me from taking action to change my life.

Does this sound familiar to anyone other than myself? Or am I the only crazy one out here?

I want you to answer these questions regarding your reflection of each time frame in your life:

How was your language?
Did you use words like, “I will never have”….”I can’t have.'”
Were you a Debbie Downer or did you lift your friends up?
Were your friends excited to hear from you? Or were they screening their calls?
Did you always focus on the negatives in your life?
Did you practice gratitude when things were not going well?
Did you complain a lot?
Would you say there was always drama surrounding you?
When things were hard for you, did you focus on them becoming worse or better?

By doing this you should be able to see where maybe you were the one holding yourself back and making either your life worse, or stay in stagnant where you were at that point.

For example:

When my brother died in 2006, it ROCKED our world, as you can imagine. Grieving is a very tough, long process, with many stages. However, during that time I CHOSE to stay in that grieving stage and take on the role of, “Woe is me”. I didn’t always see the good in things, I really focused on all that was going on.

At that same time period we decided to pack up from San Diego and move to Colorado to be near my older brother. It was a great decision, however, it was at the same time as our recession began. At one point we had jobs worth upwards of four million dollars, so we were doing well.

However, as soon as we moved to Colorado, we sold our home in San Diego, and all of the sudden we lost all of our jobs. It left us financially bone dry. In a new town, no work, 3 kids, and pregnant with the fourth. Pretty scary, right?

And….to make it worse I was focusing on my pity party instead of focusing on what I had in my life! My BEAUTIFUL, HEALTHY, SAFE, FAMILY! My home, my cars, freedom that we live in, my animals, my ability to work, ETC!!!

So unfortunately, things got MUCH WORSE before they got better!

As soon as I put what I was reading into effect in my life, my life started changing and has gotten better every step of the way! What I focused on during those times GOT EVEN BIGGER, bad or good! I could have saved so much time if I would have just focused on the right things in my life!

Which leads me to my next step…

Step 3: Journal.

Yes, I know you have heard me say this close to a few thousand times, but it is necessary in order for you to track your progress. I also know that it is challenging to do this for many of you. But it makes a huge difference!

I have had over 60 journals over the last 16 years and when I was able to read through them it had shown me how off-track I was with my thoughts in the beginning! I am so glad I am not at that stage of my life anymore, however, that time period of serious growth, truly changed everything for my entire family. I am grateful for each step that I went through!

Please take this seriously and grab yourself a pad of paper that you can write in throughout the day. Here are some prompts that can save you time if you’re not one that likes to take the time to write much. It won’t take much time, but will be worth every second.

First of all, ALWAYS remember, “Thoughts ARE things!!!”

What were the patterns that you saw throughout your life?
Could these patterns be seen easily?
What would you have changed during those times?
How did you feel today?
Let’s see where your thoughts were, primarily focused on the good or bad?
Were you genuinely feel grateful for all that you have in your life today?
Did you focus on the great things that you ALREADY have, or more on things that you DON’T have?
What terms did you use today? “I can, I will, I have, I love, I am happy that, I am grateful for, …etc.?”
Was there a focus on what YOU WANT in life today? Did you DREAM a little?
Were my thoughts better than yesterday?
Is controlling your thoughts becoming easier day by day?
What areas of your thoughts are the hardest?
How were you when talking to people? Upbeat and positive, or did you complain?
Did you complain today?

You HAVE to do this in order to see where you have taken your life by where your thoughts were, so you can make sure to make those changes for the future!

It is very simple…just track your thoughts, whatever your thinking at the time, write it down!

If you stick with this, I promise you will see a tremendous change over time! I am excited for you because once I was able to reflect through reading my journals, I had seen the progress I had made. That is such an AMAZING feeling!

Thank you all for supporting The Giggling Life! I absolutely love that we can work on these things together as it keeps me accountable too, which is awesome!

Please share with us your progress, I know it is going to be AMAZING! There is nothing better than seeing your life start change right before your eyes knowing you are the one responsible for it!

Just think if we ALL could learn the power of your thoughts at an early age. Could you imagine how powerful our children would be? They would have the power within themselves to create whatever life they are dreaming of…how powerful is that?

Let’s all help spread the word….

I know you can do it, your worth it, & remember EVERYONE deserves to live an extraordinary life & now is the time to make become aware of your thoughts so we can move closer to creating that life for you!

You can sign up here to receive your FREE Downloadable Cheat Sheet! It will help you to remember all of the questions listed above, as well as giving you your journal prompts!

I am excited to start this journey with you all! By signing up, you’ll receive weekly tips & inspiration, FREE downloads, & you’ll be gaining a whole new community of amazing people here at The Giggling Life!

We have a lot of new things coming to you all soon and it is going to be AMAZING, I am so excited to share them all with you!!!

Thanks so stopping by! Much love to you all!

After every crazy storm is a beautiful rainbow….I know this to be true.

We got this guys! It is time to change our thoughts!!!

XOXO,

Kristi

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